Our Changing Lives: Mental Health

The state of mental health in the U.S. has been worsening for many years now, among children and adults, and the pandemic essentially threw gasoline on that fire.

In addition to higher incidences of eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, many of us are also experiencing burnout, loneliness, sleep problems and the ongoing stress of being a caregiver. Others just feel like they are languishing.

These issues have been particularly acute for some groups: Seventy percent of unpaid caregivers — either parents with children under 18, or people taking care of an adult — have reported adverse mental health symptoms during the pandemic.

So what can we do to take better care of ourselves as the Delta variant throws a wrench in our hopes to return to normal? This week, for “Our Changing Lives,” I posed a few questions to my colleague Christina Caron, who covers mental health for The Times.

What are some of the coping mechanisms that people have resorted to during this pandemic?

Unfortunately, a lot of people have been coping in unhealthy ways. In June of last year, for example, 13 percent of those surveyed by the C.D.C. said they had either started or increased substance use to deal with stress or emotions related to the pandemic. And, as my colleague Anahad O’Connor reported earlier this year, a nationwide survey found that one in four adults reported drinking more this past year to manage their stress.

People are also stress-eating, staring at screens and sleeping either too much or not enough.

As you can imagine, these things are not going to help you feel your best.

What is healthy and effective?

Experts recommend taking regular breaks from your electronic devices, exercising, meditating, eating healthy meals and getting plenty of sleep. Make time also to connect with other people or organizations in your community, even if it’s only online.

How can people recognize whether their mental health has suffered during the pandemic? What are the telltale signs?

You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who said their mental health was not affected by the pandemic. But how do you know if you need additional support? One of the primary indicators is if the way you are feeling is starting to affect the way you live your life.

Try asking yourself the following:

  • Are you struggling to get through the day or feeling persistently sad, irritable or anxious?
  • Have you withdrawn from your loved ones or are you arguing more often?
  • Have you thought about harming yourself?
  • Have there been changes in your sleeping or eating patterns?
  • Are you using drugs or alcohol to cope?
  • Have you had difficulty concentrating or making decisions?

“Everyone has occasional bad days,” Brit Barkholtz, a licensed independent clinical social worker in St. Paul, Minn., told me earlier this year. “But if you’re having more days like that than not — and no matter how many friends you talk to, or sick days you take, or strategies you try, it still seems like you’re not feeling any better — it could be time to look into therapy.”
 
 

Your ideas: books, breaks and no guilt

Thank you all so much for taking the time to share your self-care routines with us!

Many people started a daily meditation or exercise practice, like yoga or walking. Some people found routines helpful; others loved the freedom of an unexpectedly unscheduled day. People found new hobbies, new ways to connect with friends and time to try out new recipes. (Also: lots of journaling.)

Here are a few pieces of wisdom from readers of this newsletter.
  • I have very successfully set up a trans-Atlantic book club with a similar-minded gentleman in Ireland and we read the same books for discussion twice a week. With some good luck, I should be visiting Dublin in a week or so to finally meet the other half of the trans-Atlantic book club! Very exciting! — George Xuereb, Vancouver, Canada
  • I had to really push to keep myself from feeling guilty about the 15 to 20 pounds I gained from indulging, relaxing at home and quarantining properly. My self-care ended up focusing on mentally allowing my body to exist without worrying about rolls or “extra” pounds. — Sophia Haney, 29, Washington, D.C.
  • Cut your own hair: Somehow it’s very liberating and empowering! — Susie Collins, 67, Annapolis, Md.
  • Being with my family, which includes two young children, caused me to start taking a “break night” once a week. I plug in twinkle lights and relax with a drink as I journal, listen to music or watch whatever I want. — Libby DePalma, 41, Canonsburg, Pa.
  • At the very beginning of the pandemic, I stopped sleeping with my phone in my room. And now, I set a timer when I first look at it in the morning so that I don’t get sucked in. — Heidi, 32, Akron, Ohio
  • I am not going to movie theaters or any group social gatherings. I do go occasionally go to a local IHOP with a close friend. We are both vaccinated and we go at an early enough evening hour (5 p.m.) that the restaurant is almost empty, and we do request and are seated with no other surrounding customers. — Dennis J. Crowley, 73, Morristown, N.J.
  • Remember that by caring for yourself, you are NOT being selfish. You are ensuring that you are the best you can be for yourself, your family and your job. — Mary Ellis, 58, Austin, Texas
  • After seeing that this pandemic may not be going away for some time, I decided I’m going to start with some fears I know I CAN conquer. So I joined a band. Through the encouragement of my bandmates and our friends in the local scene, I’m singing every day, writing lyrics and piano music. I’m breaking through the barriers I can, instead of complaining about the ones I can’t. Even if you don’t want to be in a band … who doesn’t love singing in the car?? It helps especially with all the traffic in L.A. coming back. — Harley, 30, Culver City, Calif.